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INTERVIEW WITH AN
AUTOFELLATOR
Simply put, Al Eingang,
the star of such films as
"The Young Man
From Nantucket," "Because
He Can," and "Blown
Alone," makes his living
sucking himself off. His
website Solo
Suck contains
several stills from his
videos, autobiographical
material,
a How-To, and various
other notes from the
self-sucking world. The
following
interview, as you might
guess, contains especially
sexually explicit
language,
because, well, it's about
the technique of sucking
oneself off, but it
also contains observations
about what it's like to do
yourself in the mouth,
ass, and ear, and how such
action extends into the
realms of sexuality,
politics, and pure
pleasure etc.
*
Q: Dogs lick their
balls because they can. Do you
suck your own
cock simply because it's
something you can do?
A: As a sexually
curious adolescent (and is
there really any
other kind?) who also
happened to be unusually
flexible it was, I think,
inevitable that my cock
would end up in my mouth. I
also grew up in a house
with a copy of the Kinsey
Report floating around, but
can't remember clearly
whether reading Kinsey's
short section on
autofellatio was a
call-to-action
or just an interesting
affirmation that what I was
doing was not unheard
of. Of one thing I am
entirely certain: the
marriage of my cock and
mouth
was a match made in
paradise, and from the very
first time that my tongue
caressed my glans I was
hooked. Do I suck my own
cock simply because it's
something I can do? No; I
suck it elaborately because
it's something
I can do.
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Q: As per the Nantucket
limerick, if your ear were a
cunt would
you fuck it?
A: I have, in fact,
stuck my cock in my ear in
the throes of
passion, but it didn't do a
whole lot for me. If I were
to agree to this
ear-to-cunt transformation
would my ear menstruate? If
so, I think I would
politely decline the
surgery. I have though, I
think, stuck just about
every part of my body that
is stickable into the other
parts that are
stick-into-able
and enjoyed, if not the
sensations at least the
novelty and occasional
ridiculousness of it all.
Cock-in-ass, A+;
hand-in-ass, not for every
day
but exquisite nonetheless;
foot-in-ass (just the toes,
really), an amusing
diversion; toes-in-mouth;
pinky-tip in urethra;
nipples in mouth; nipples
in piss-slit, and many more;
all enjoyable parts of a
normal, red-blooded
boy's exploration of the
erotic-possible. Being
largely a homo, I would
probably be more likely to
be seduced by my ear if it
were an asshole,
but again, the disadvantages
of what came out of it would
certainly outweigh
the pleasure of any congress
that I might have with it.
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Q: A man who gives
himself a nightly handjob is
not considered gay.
But, for some reason, sucking
yourself off and swallowing
your own cum
seems a little more homoerotic
than autoerotic. What do you
think?
A: While I identify
as Queer (I stopped
identifying with the
"gay" label on the day that
I first heard of the Log
Cabin Republicans)
my penis is all-man, 100%
straight and none of that
fag stuff, OK? Everybody
knows that a straight guy
will stick it into anything
that's warm, wet,
and reasonably maggot-free,
and my hetero-cock is no
exception. If there
was any pussy around he'd be
on it like white on rice,
but a man's gotta
take his satisfaction where
he finds it, y'know?
Being a child of the '60s,
I imbibed theories of the
polymorphous-perverse
and of the fluidity of
gender and sexuality with my
mother's milk. Now
that all of these Queer
Theory whippersnappers have
revived these ideas
with new and much harder to
pronounce names, I sound
like less of a relic
when I argue that gender and
sexual orientation are
socially constructed
elaborations on whatever
inborn tendencies and drives
we might have. The
narrow binary of gay vs.
straight is a prison (and
you know what men get
up to with each other in
prison). Is it homoerotic
for a man to suck his
own cock? Etymologically it
would seem more so than if
he were to suck
another man's cock, and yet,
hetero means
"different" and sucking
yourself off is pretty
different, so maybe it’s
really a heteroerotic
act.
I have a Bulletin Board on
my website and get a fair
number of posts
from straight guys who suck
themselves, some of whom are
concerned about
the homo or heterocity of
the act, and others who are
smart enough to skip
that shit and worry about
the important questions: how
do I get more of
it in my mouth, and is it
really possible to fuck my
ass with my own cock?
On a cautionary note, I do
also get posts from formerly
100% hetero
guys who, having tasted the
heavenly manna of their own
cocks are now finding
themselves wondering what it
would be like to suck
another guy, so there
may be a slippery-slope
(slippery-shaft?) effect at
work here.
*
Q: The self-consuming
snake, ouroboros, is an
ancient symbol
of infinity and fertility. The
Egyptian God Amon created the
world by eating
his cum. Do you feel more in
touch with mythology whilst
shining your knob?
Is autofellatio a
quasi-religious ritual or are
you just sucking yourself
off?
A: Who can say for
sure which ancient God one
most resembles?
As I say in the shocking
autobiographical essay on my
website; I'm sure
that my childhood sojourn
with the Secret Order of
Tibetan Monks, and my
kidnapping by a troupe of
chimps as a babe have had
some influences on
my psyche, but it is the
place of the Professional
Alienists and of future
historians to say what those
effects were. Perhaps "a
quasi-religious,
just-sucking-myself-off
ritual with a shallow,
mythic quality" best
describes
it.
*
Q: In terms of
fertility, have you ever
worried about eating
watermelon
seeds and then growing a
watermelon-type humanoid in
your stomach? The
pregnancy would make future
solosuck sessions very
difficult. Thoughts?
A: I will not even
dignify this ridiculous
query with a response.
I do however worry about the
butt-babies that might
result from fucking
myself in the ass and always
use the rhythm method to
determine those times
of the month when it is safe
to plow my mangina with my
massive fuck-stick
and fill my hungry hole with
a hot load of baby batter.
*
Q: What kind of
thoughts do you get from the
activity? Have you
ever had any worthwhile
realizations?
A: Aside from that
nagging feeling that all of
the details of
the Unified Field Theory
would come into clear focus
if I could just bend
a little further and rim
myself? "Worthwhile"ness
being essentially a
subjective
quality I will say yes: "Oh
yeah! If I twist my head to
the side while
I thrust, my throat rubs on
my cockhead in a completely
different way"
seems to me far more
worthwhile than anything
that I've ever heard coming
out the mouth of a career
politician. "Oh Fuck, I love
my cock" far superior
to any of the body-hating
propaganda endlessly spewing
from every orifice
of corporate media and the
Judeo-Christian morality
cops.
*
Q: Is solosucking
purely sexual? Does it also
involve a related
political position?
A: When I was 17 or
18, I was walking down the
street with my
friend Aaron. We were
talking politics and he said
"I suppose if I was
going to call myself
anything I'd say I'm a
Marxist." I said "Well, I
guess
I'm an anarchist." It just
popped out; I don't remember
having given it
any conscious thought before
that moment, but I was
right, and that conversation
was the first step in my
eventual immersion in the
anarchist movement and
the promulgation of
anarchist ideals.
Anarchism is certainly an
extreme political position;
did twisting my
body into the extreme
positions required for
autofellatio influence my
mind’s bent towards an
extreme political
philosophy? If I were an
individualist
anarchist then the solitary,
self-sufficient nature of
autofellatio would
be a pretty obvious match
with the politics, but being
more disposed towards
a basically
anarcho-communist politic I
would have to say that any
direct
link between the nature of
the acts and the politics is
pretty tenuous.
I do have the pleasure of
saying "I suck my own cock
for a living" to
people who ask me what I do,
and I would consider that to
be a political
statement. Working for
myself, doing something that
I love and that I'm
very good at is political.
Defining the self-suck
videos that I make as
Art; as much as the
sculpture
and other more traditional
art objects that I
create; that's political.
The only real problems I
have with what I do are the
environmental impact
and the capitalist milieu in
which I have to operate. I
sell big hunks
of toxic plastic that were
manufactured by horribly
exploited workers in
terrible conditions in the
"Third World." I'm not happy
about that, but
all money is dirty money and
doing the videos gives me
the free time to
make art and work for a
better world.
*
Q: Were you able to do
it (suck yourself off) right
away? Or did
it take some hard work and
perseverance?
A: First time; half
of my cock in my mouth, no
problem. It did
take a while to get the
whole thing in, though.
*
Q: Have you ever
thought about doing a
self-help video about the
wonders of autofellatio? Do
you ever guide those who post
messages on your
board? Do you have any basic
advice for beginners?
A: "Solo-suck for
the Soul"? "I'm OK, You're
Unnecessary"? "How
To Be Your Own Best
Blowjob"? Imagine the
infomercial! I have a
"How-To"
page on my website that
gives what little advice I
have to give. I never
had to learn, so I don't
think I'm the best person to
teach those for whom
it doesn't come naturally. I
do my best to offer advice
and encouragement
to those who ask for it, but
it's really all there in my
“How-To.”
*
Q: When you're feeling
good about yourself, do you
suck more tenderly?
When you're disappointed, do
you take it out on yourself?
A: Nope.
*
Q: When you manually
masturbate, there's typically
very little thrusting.
In an act that involves both
sucking and thrusting,
however, does your
mind master what's going on
between your mouth or your
cock? Do you tend
to fuck yourself harder? Or
suck yourself harder?
A: Imagine having
someone suck on your cock
who knows exactly
what you're feeling at every
moment; who can adjust every
variable instantly
to provide you with maximum
pleasure. Imagine (this one
is going to be
more of a stretch for
non-cocksuckers) sucking on
the cock of a man who
knows exactly how hard and
fast to push, and when to
pull out (for those
of us who still have a
gag-reflex). Having that
much control means that
I can have a variety of
kinds of orgasms and can
easily separate orgasm
from ejaculation, and shoot
a number of loads before
having the final orgasm.
It isn't a substitute for
sex with other people; it's
a completely different
thing, like masturbation
squared. It's like any good
sex: Sometimes it's
cerebral, sometimes the body
takes over.
*
Q: Has the sexual
self-sufficiency made you
aloof, egotistical,
self-centered, etc?
A: What makes you
think you have right to
intrude on my privacy
and ask me, The Master, such
an impertinent question?
Paying me silent
tribute (preferably in
unmarked bills to my Swiss
bank account) and allowing
me to continue to bask in my
own magnificence, while a
pale and frustrating
substitute for actual
contact with Me is all that
you deserve.
*
Q: And just for kicks,
what's the last novel you
read?
A: Paul Lussier's Last
Refuge of Scoundrels.
An enjoyable retelling of
the American Revolution
as an extended
crime-of-passion by ordinary
people, with delightfully
unflattering
portraits of many of the
"Founding Fathers."
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