submit or we shall transform ye into a stripper's shadow!

Presentation #1: Gus and Tina (with the brief assistance of Carl) demonstrate advanced techniques you can use to inflict arousal, and ultimately sexual gratification, upon your partner even in the privacy of your own home. You might note that Gus, Tina, even Carl are finely wrought specimens whose genitals and orifices have been freshly shorn, shaven smooth, and might appear a bit less ungainly than your own. This is for the purposes of demonstration only-do not let this deter you from attempting to perform the behaviors depicted below.

Figure 1

Tina exerts a gentle pressure against the outer folds of her labia with the "ball" of her finger in order to stimulate the nerve endings and cause the first "stirring" of valuable lubricating "juices" to flow in her vagina. This is a "self-inflicted arousal" on the part of Tina who can be said to be operating her genitals unassisted, perhaps fantasizing or anticipating the inevitable appearance of Gus.

Figure 2

Enter Gus, who appears to have demanded that Tina change clothes. It would be impossible for him to inflict arousal upon her without some kind of blue top and translucent stocking ensemble. This technique, which often goes unnoticed, can be helpful in wresting command from those who would operate their genitals without help. As shown, the technique is successful as the placement of Gus' hand appears to indicate that he is now operating Tina's clitoris, for which Tina appears to be grateful.

Figure 3

Gus now has Tina right where he wants her. By gently applying his tongue to Tina's clitoris and "lapping" in a regular or "rhythmical fashion," Gus has severely limited Tina's choices on whether or not she will in fact perform fellatio upon him. Cunnilingus -- the technique Gus is here applying -- has been shown in laboratory testing to be nearly 100% effective in assuring what is often called, among test subjects, "reciprocal head." Tina though appears quite at ease with this arrangement and quite satisfied with the job Gus is doing "eating her out."

Figures 4 & 5 

For the purposes of demonstration, Tina has chosen to cock her head at an odd angle while performing fellatio upon Gus to allow the camera a clearer vantage of the fine job she is doing-- just as Gus had when demonstrating cunnilingus. When performing these acts outside the laboratory -- in the "wild" if you will -- it is recommended that you approach the genitals "head on" to more easily facilitate (1) the entrance of the penis into the oral cavity in the case of fellatio and (2) to sharpen the angle of the lapping tongue in cunnilingus. It is also important to concentrate on what you are doing, unlike Tina in Fig. 5, who is looking away and thus is in danger of facial injury due to slippage or lockjaw. 

Figures 6 & 7

Penetration occurs. This moment, properly called a "coupling," or "intercourse," is the goal of all previous endeavor and can be said to have been a success only if Tina succeeds in guiding Gus's properly hardened penis into her properly moistened vaginal opening. As depicted in Figures 6 & 7, this has occurred. Gus and Tina, it can now be said, are "fucking." 

Figures 8 & 9

These figures depict an advanced or expert technique known as anal intercourse, which will not be dwelled upon here as it so rarely occurs in the wild. Gus has somehow convinced Tina that her "G Spot" is impossible for his oddly bent penis to reach by "normal means" and that, "in the ass, baby" he'd be able to apply a more pleasurable dose of pressure upon it. Though this is often true, it usually takes many weeks of "finger" and "butt-plug" applications to make anal penetration safe for the recipient, AND IT SIMPLY SHOULD NOT BE ATTEMPTED AS IT APPEARS HERE WITHOUT PROPER LUBRICATION. This demonstration is only included here as one of many possible behaviors and should not occur "accidentally" as many men claim it does. NOTE: Women, if a man claims he has "accidentally slipped" or "placed his penis wrongly" into your anus, we urge you to review Figures 1-7 with him which will humiliate him into admitting his deception or correct his inability to interpret your openings. 

Figure 9

Enter Carl who assists Gus and Tina by assuming a squatting position directly over Tina's face. This will allow Tina to safely limit her intake of oxygen by stopping the intake of breath through her mouth, which she has chosen to make available to Carl's engorged penis. As we all know, limiting the intake of oxygen often enhances the pleasurable effects of intercourse, and doing so by swallowing Carl's impressive penis, is much safer than choke hold techniques that so often turn out tragically. Gus, meanwhile, has changed into overalls, a reference in costume form to the "hard work" it often is "getting a woman off." Tina will no doubt leave this demonstration feeling "properly tilled." 

Figure 10

Gus has abandoned his agrarian fantasy and has gotten a tattoo. This will allow him to once and for all complete the task of satisfactorily pleasuring Tina. Carl, still assisting, has altered his position to better demonstrate Tina's gift for "giving head." Soon, everyone will be sexually gratified but Gus, who will have to use his gift of coercion once more to entice Tina to "finish him" even after he has entered her in so many ways.

Figures 11 & 12

Gus is spent. Tina is relieved -- she has gotten none of his seed in her eye. That must be why she is smiling despite the fact that her face is covered with Gus' "sticky spoo." Unless, of course, it is funny that her face is covered with goo, which, to us anyway, it is not. 


Mark O'Neil wrote this and does this.

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