Hey! Do you ever
think your writing is pretty great one day but then the next day you think
that maybe you're delusional and your writing actually orally pleasures
the world's longest literary tallywacker (ie, is not very good at all)?
If you answered
"yes" or "sort of," we believe it's time for you to
SUBMIT TO THE WHIP!
Writers are masochistic freaks. They spend their time alone, reading
and writing, and then they send their writing to editors who more often
than not send a form rejection in a few weeks or several months. This is
not what writers want.
Writers want to know WHY their stories are rejected and they want to
know without having to wait a season or two to find out. All in all, the
submission/response process is slow and sucky and impersonal.
Lots of writers also send stuff to writer friends, who usually hand
out more orchids than onions because it's easier to lose a little integrity
than risk a friendship. It's great to have nice friends and all but it
sucks for writers looking for SOMEONE to tell them exactly what they think
about their writing without pussyfooting around (yes, we used the word
pussyfooting).
The question, therefore, is: WHERE CAN A WRITER GO TO GET AN HONEST
RESPONSE FROM SOMEONE WHO ONLY CARES ABOUT THE WORK ON THE PAGE AND BELIEVES
THAT AN HONEST RESPONSE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN MAKING A FRIEND?!
The answer, of course, is: RIGHT HERE!
Read on!
Eyeshot was originally founded and
operated for ten years as a volunteer effort, a sort of textual first-aid
for tender literary souls, no matter how bawdy or incomprehensible or odd.
Recently, knowing that submissions
were forever closed and we
wouldn't ever again be posting fiction etc, someone sent a story because
she wanted to receive her "very own sassy rejection letter."
We responded: "I have a crazy idea:
I'll read and respond to your story if you donate some money to Haiti (or
an American literacy organization) and forward the receipt to me. The more
money you give, the more in-depth my response will be. Sound good?"
Hours later, we received an official-looking
receipt for a $40 donation to an earthquake relief organization. An hour
later, we transmitted a response much longer than the four-paragraph story
she originally sent.
A win-win-win!
Writer gets earnest, helpful, thorough
feedback from someone who only cares about her story (ie, isn't interested
in blowing smoke or stroking ego). Editor gets to keep analytical skills
sharp by helping a writer and, in turn, a relief organization. Relief organization
gets forty freakin' bucks, which helps people in serious need.
So then we configured a little chip-in
account thing (see below) and decided to proceed like this for the foreseeable
future: Now, instead of reading and responding to submissions with an eye
for posting them on Eyeshot, we will read and respond to stories as long
as you donate money to our chipin account or forward an official-looking
receipt for a contribution to a noble cause (dated after 1/23/10). Money
collected from the chipin thing will be donated when it builds up a bit,
most likely to a US literacy effort. The entirely arbitrary goal is $1000
by January 1, 2011.
For the most part, the more money
you donate, the more thorough and performative and insane (and yet somehow
oddly helpful) the response will be. But please don't send stories longer
than 20 pages unless you contribute a really generous amount. Send your
story to submit at eyeshot.net. We'll respond within a few days (a few
weeks, the latest).
Occasionally we may post our responses
the way we used to post rejection
letters.
NOTE: If you'd like a 100% respectful
and helpful (ie, boring but very nice) response, we can do that. Also mention
it if you'd like us to transmit a 100% entertainingly evil, entirely sadistic,
performative (ie, not really respectful at all and maybe not all that helpful
either) response.
ALSO PLEASE NOTE: If you've ever received a helpful rejection or even
an acceptance from Eyeshot in the past and/or appreciated the site as a
reader etc and you'd like to add a bit of sunshine to our pot of rainbow-smiley
monetary vibes, such tiny gifts are totally welcome without sending a story.
We will love you more than we already do and we will maybe even send you
something in the mail like a book or a CD-R or a homemade oddity.
Final Q: Um, so why are you on this weird do-gooder kick?
A: Because sex,
food, and altruism light up the same part of the brain, neurochemically
(ie, it feels good) . . .
Otherwise, as always, for your reading
pleasure, here's a longish history
of Eyeshot.
Here's the archive.
Here are favorites
posted over the past 10 years.
Here are the defunct submission
guidelines.
And here are some good books
to read.
