(
All about the site known as Eyeshot



















































 

(
TOM HANKS JUST SHOWED UP
BY SEAN NEVILLE
 
Tom Hanks just showed up. I don't know how I feel about that. He is a major star but his movies, especially lately, don't impress me that much. It is rumored he has a disagreeable growth on his back. And if you saw him in Cloud Atlas you have to give some credence to the rumor. Plus, there's already one Tom here. It's embarrassing when you say Tom! Take a look at my latest elephant figurine (I'm known for my collection of elephant figurines—I just love em) and both Toms turn and say something cheerfully affirmative. That is awkward. I'd like to keep awkwardness to a minimum. I'm aiming for a quality celebrity re-orientation experience here. However, we're all a little concerned about where Tom's career is going and how he's being managed. I could make this a Tom Hanks awareness party. I could make an announcement and tell a story about the Tom Hanks that lives in everyone's heart. Think of Forest Gump and Private Ryan. That might be a good thing to do. Alternatively, there are cases worse than his here. Still, he has a disfiguring and awkward presence. But he still has clout and I don't have the social tokens to snub him. So I welcome him and appear sincere about it—like a pro. I tell him I'm looking forward to the release of his new movie, Captain Phillips. Then I say it must be hell to be kidnapped by Somali pirates. He says he wouldn't know, he only played someone kidnapped by Somali pirates and turns away to talk to Michael Douglas and Natalie Portman. I guess he doesn't know whose apartment this is. 

I catch up with Tom Hanks and tell him I had a dream that he and I were best friends and he said don't dream those dreams. People fear my dreams for some reason.

However, I bend to none on earth the suppliant knee and I say, I'll think about it. I then inform him that I'm the organizer and host of this social event. He shows me a face and I immediately understand what Tom Hanks's problem is. He lacks emotion. I mean he just looks at me with dead eyes and I have to say it does make me feel a little scared.

I start my poetics live. I establish a wild path in a wood, shaded by trees. I say,

 "How hollow groans the earth beneath my tread."
 (an owl is heard screeching.)
 "What sound is that?" 
 (I listen with hand cupped to ear, leaning toward Pam)
 "It is the screech owl's cry. Foul bird of night (hee-hee)! 
 What spirit drives thee here? Art thou instinctive drawn 
 To scenes of horror?"
Tom Cruise says, 
 Ha! Does the night bird greet me on my way?
 How much his hooting is in harmony 
 With such a scene as this! I like it well.
 Oft, when a boy, at the still twilight hour
 I've leant my back against some knotted oak.
 And loudly mimicked him, till to my call
 He answer would return and through the gloom
We friendly converse held.
Tom Cruise shrieks and hoots. Everyone begins shrieking and hooting. Then everyone laughs. I don't laugh. What the hell's so funny? I take notes because it's my responsibility to document this event. Everyone else is too busy having the best time of their lives.

Because of the social value of the people contained in my apartment I think we have established a significant social movement. We are friends with varied ethnic, cultural, and sexual orientations who work and live in the vibrant community of Hollywood, California. And we have become a powerful social movement that engages with its time, indeed, that brings the age to itself, and makes the age aware of its own fatal implications. This is something I announce to the group over the PA.

I like dark things says Tom Hanks, who has been drinking. He then says he's gay and that he is the Marilyn Manson of crossdressers in his real life and that has nothing to do with the simulated life most of the world associates him with—i.e. the movies. He says he goes a lot deeper than that. I say Get down!

In turn I confide to Tom that I am a Buckeye. Tom says he hates Buckeyes. He says Buckeyes are Midwesterners and they eat ham from large tins.

I say don't confuse me with those other Buckeyes. I'm like the wind. Tom nods. I mean he nods like he really understands. Then he says I am potentially a great untapped resource—with the right management, that is. I almost fall for his line. He is gay and I am hot and he wants my heat but I'm only interested in advancing our social movement. I look Tom straight in the eye and say please be cool, Tom.

It's a Frankenstorm in here and I'm like a cheerleader. I shout: 

Prepare To Shatter Your Limitations, Skyrocket Your Expectations & Unmask Your True Potential — The Highly Anticipated Next Level Is Now In Your Hands!
Regional celebrities are flooding the event, which is a drag because they don't relax like the A-listers. The minor celebs are always working, looking over the room for opportunities. One brought along her regression therapist and she's miming a key experience of a past life. It's the beheading of Mary Queen of Scots. She's very solemn, then she screams. Everyone seems to understand.

It's my moment. I have the floor.

Remember the movie, the The Matrix? I say over the PA. Remember how people were able to instantly download skills and experiences into their minds? I say. 

They became kung-fu masters, helicopter pilots, engineering experts; all in a matter of minutes, I say.

Skills that normally take years to master were theirs in the blink of an eye, I say. 

Stick with me now, because I’m going to show you how to do exactly that, I say. I’m going to show you how to imagine meeting a you who is everything you’ve ever secretly wished you could be, I say. 

I’m going to show you that the keys to everything you’ve ever wanted in life lie hidden in alternate versions of the universe we live in. And that in these alternate universes mirror images of yourselves are living out their lives mostly airborne, I say. Then I say, It's a system called HOPPING 123. WHY 1 2 3? Because there are 1-2-3 stages of hopping. 

I start to hop my little butt off. My butt is little—but it’s firm and round.

Pamela Lee Anderson tells us that she has just got back from Haiti. She noted many improvements there. The rehoming, the carbon neutrality of families, the water filters, the new national consciousness. I point out that this is a ho-hum topic in relation to our present reality. Pam says she likes to use her image to do good. A lot of people are into that––Tom, Brad, Angie, George. Which Tom, I ask. Hanks, she says and continues: They have these high priced images and they're putting them to work to do good things. 

I say, Where are the entertaining narcissistic people who are supposed to make me laugh with their bigger-than-life antics? 

I'm on top of the ladder and I say: right now my heart goes out to Axl Rose and his family for what they're going through. 

I really have no idea what I'm talking about. But what a way to ensoul a room!

Getting back to the Matrix idea, we're starting to download little by little some very fun and useful skills. 

Someone asserts that surfaces condition writing—a piece of paper, a wall, a screen. We address that thesis. We adopt it as a working axiom. We have to decide on a surface for my new poem—if it can be considered a poem and not a lifestyle or a modus vivendi. Someone says—Jackie Chan, I think—How about can we be considered a surface collectively? (Smart!) How about the apartment itself? And the Internet—is that too much surface or not enough? Is there a surface that hasn't been seen yet? 

Wow!

I'm all right with Axl. We're good. Everything's cool. I did say something untrue about him, but he knows we both want the same thing: one hundred percent no-holds barred experimental living. And because of this we know we have to assume a modus vivendi with the terrifying dimension of life. Sometimes that means having an appetite for destruction. The appetite for destruction days reviewed, you have to admit there is an awful lot to destroy. And if you're serious about destruction you have to start somewhere. Most things I see locally should be destroyed. I'm going to go out right now and destroy the sprinkler system across the street. And the Goodwill box. I'm going to destroy the traffic light down at the corner. I'm going to destroy a streetlight. I'm going to destroy two or three bus shelters too. The way I look at it, it's me or them. I can't have these things in my world. I just can't. I'm 100 percent human and I don't care who knows it. 

The surface question keeps striding through the party and the kind of surface in favor is a screen. That means my laptop and the distribution systems pertaining to it. 

Here is one consequence of that choice: 

And here is another:
We'll have to have a business model canvas and some value chain analysis.

I'm serious—we're building a social tool here.

Prince asks: Are you ready for the B-sides and covers 2010–2013?

Yes I am, I say, and I'll be the man behind the account.

Tom Cruise says he'll leverage stress and motivation in a way that is non-core while tapping into all-star personal trainers' secrets.

This so reminds me of Facebook's formation story that Facebook CEO Mark Zuckerberg shared at the D conference this year.

I'm really not kidding; we're spearheading the next level of social tools here. I hope you're ready. If you're not, we will be doing some training seminars. Acceptance to the seminars will be selective. Sorry—we just don't have the capacity to accept everyone. You can apply here:

https://hiringcenter.walmartstores.com/OnlineHiringCenter/ct_logon.jsp

Things to think about in advance of your application

  • The new productivity
  • How to design and manage an Awesomeness Fest
  • You're a customer experience specialist hanging out with some of the smartest, craziest, most passionate people on earth. How do you prove to them that you belong and that you are capable of probing the darkness   with a lyricism that illuminates and enlivens the spirit?
  • There is a small charge of $3.00 US to apply. Paypal only. Ok? Good.

    That pretty much says who we're all about.

    [Forever after at http://eyeshot.net/tomhanks.html]

    Also by Sean Neville on Eyeshot: In a Human Vein

    About - Archive - Reviews

    Gold Stars - Submit

    Recently

    )
    Access the Endless Archive

    What is Up These Days at Eyeshot
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     
     


    Available now from Barrelhouse Books
    Order here. More info here.

     

    .