When I was four, I went on a cruise with my brother to Bermuda.
My brother was old. He was twenty-four. One day, on the cruise, we were on the top deck. "Where are my parents?" I said to my brother. "I'm supposed to have one mom and one dad? Mommy and Daddy?" He stared at me for a very long time. He was thinking, I could tell. Then he picked me up and threw me into the ocean. I didn't scream. I thought that it must've been something reasonable and pragmatic, to be thrown off of a cruise ship. I was raised by dolphins. Fifteen years later, I found my brother. This was in America. I found him and I punched him in the face so hard that he went immediately blind. There wasn't any blood. But the blindness was irreversible and it happened instantly. I stayed around to see what he'd do. "Is this even fair?" he said. "You were raised by dolphins, but now I can't even move freely through this world where colors and shapes and facial expressions are so important, crucial, really." "I liked being raised by dolphins," I said. I stayed around some more. I wanted him to say, "Things are going to be okay. People love you." I wanted him to say the names of these people, and I wanted that never to end. But he didn't say anything. He was moving his hands in front of him, feeling for things. "Hey," I said. "I liked being raised by dolphins." He came toward me, his arms out in front. I felt so sad then suddenly and felt I was going to cry. Things felt wrong. Everything was wrong. I moved toward him and we embraced. Then he started strangling me. I reached behind me and picked up a knife that was lying there on a table and I stabbed him in the center of his heart. I took his corpse and dove into the ocean. Because of being raised by dolphins, I could breathe underwater and also could dive really deep without rupturing my lungs. So I dove to the very bottom of the Pacific Ocean and stuffed my brother's corpse in a crevice in the Marianas Trench. I stayed there and looked at his corpse. It slowly became unjammed, and then floated up. A shark came by and ate it. "Shark," I said. "Eat me." I spoke in a language the dolphins had taught me. "I know you hear me, shark. Hey!" I swam at it, but it wouldn't eat me. I pushed myself at its mouth.
It was very annoyed at me, but it kept its mouth shut very tight and kept
turning away. But I wasn't going to give up. I held on tight
to its mouth and shoved my fingers in. I felt some teeth. "Hey,
shark," I said. "I'm holding on for the rest of my life and you'll
have to open up some day."
[Forever after at http://eyeshot.net/taoshark.html] |
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ME MUERO DE AMOR POR TODO ABAJO
pboz #5 is available for preorders! - hobart #4 is now available - (beautiful!) boom #1 is totally available
david barringer's "terminally curious" - his "johnny red" - charles ullmann's strategies 4 modern living
randall devallance's dive - incidents de egotourismo - kevin sampsell's beautiful blemish
matthew "xavier lipshitz" st. amand's "homoculus" is now out too!
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the duck & herring co. - me three's lit crit contest
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the memorial compilation of letters to frank conroy from his students