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GROUNDHOG DAY AT THE PALACE
BY KEVIN Ó CUINN

Don't miss the editorial needling & authorial analysis provided below
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The prince was an unwilling successor to the throne.  He had wanted his father to reign forever, and was heartbroken when the old king did not wake up.  For seven years after his death, the new king wore only black, and following custom, did not shave.  Then, at the seventh anniversary remembrance service, there he was, clean-shaven and in regal attire.  The crowd was full of joy.  ‘Three cheers for the king,’ called someone, ‘Hip-hip?’  ‘HURRAAAAH,’ they bellowed.  There was peace and prosperity in the kingdom.  Literacy rose, mortality fell.  There was even talk of universal health insurance.  The king searched near and far for a queen to accompany him on his throne.  He courted beautiful princesses,  yet none of them won his heart.  Until, one day, there she was, one of his own subjects.  He was heard to say, ‘What jewel is this?’  He would never leave the kingdom again. They were married with pomp and pageantry.  The new queen wore a sexy white frock, the king wore the national costume of white clogs, yellow socks, red knickers, and a black shirt with enormous puffed sleeves. They had three children in all, an heir, a spare, and a princess.  The prince was an unwilling successor to the throne.  He had wanted his father to reign forever, and was heartbroken when the old king did not wake up.  For seven years after his death, the new king wore only black, and following custom, did not shave.  Then, at the seventh anniversary remembrance service, there he was, clean-shaven and in regal attire.  The crowd was full of joy.  ‘Three cheers for the king,’ called someone, ‘Hip-hip?’  ‘HURRAAAAH,’ they bellowed.  There was peace and prosperity in the kingdom.  Literacy rose, mortality fell.  There was even talk of universal health insurance.  The king searched near and far for a queen to accompany him on his throne.  He courted beautiful princesses,  yet none of them won his heart.  Until, one day, there she was, one of his own subjects.  He was heard to say, ‘What jewel is this?’  He would never leave the kingdom again. They were married with pomp and pageantry.  The new Queen wore a sexy white frock, the king wore the national costume of white clogs, yellow socks, red knickers, and a black shirt with enormous puffed sleeves. They had three children in all, an heir, a spare, and a princess.  The prince was an unwilling successor to the throne.  He had wanted his father to reign forever, and was heartbroken when the old king did not wake up.  For seven years after his death, the new king wore only black, and following custom, did not shave.  Then, at the seventh anniversary remembrance service, there he was, clean-shaven and in regal attire.  The crowd was full of joy.  ‘Three cheers for the king,’ called someone, ‘Hip-hip?’  ‘HURRAAAAH,’ they bellowed.  There was peace and prosperity in the kingdom.  Literacy rose, mortality fell.  There was even talk of universal health insurance.  The king searched near and far for a queen to accompany him on his throne.  He courted beautiful princesses,  yet none of them won his heart.  Until, one day, there she was, one of his own subjects.  He was heard to say, ‘What jewel is this?’  He would never leave the kingdom again. They were married with pomp and pageantry.  The new Queen wore a sexy white frock, the king wore the national costume of white clogs, yellow socks, red knickers, and a black shirt with enormous puffed sleeves. They had three children in all, an heir, a spare, and a princess.  The prince was an unwilling successor to the throne.  He had wanted his father to reign forever, and was heartbroken when the old king did not wake up.  For seven years after his death, the new king wore only black, and following custom, did not shave.  Then, at the seventh anniversary remembrance service, there he was, clean-shaven and in regal attire.  The crowd was full of joy.  ‘Three cheers for the king,’ called someone, ‘Hip-hip?’  ‘HURRAAAAH,’ they bellowed.  There was peace and prosperity in the kingdom.  Literacy rose, mortality fell.  There was even talk of universal health insurance.  The king searched near and far for a queen to accompany him on his throne.  He courted beautiful princesses,  yet none of them won his heart.  Until, one day, there she was, one of his own subjects.  He was heard to say, ‘What jewel is this?’  He would never leave the kingdom again. They were married with pomp and pageantry.  The new Queen wore a sexy white frock, the king wore the national costume of white clogs, yellow socks, red knickers, and a black shirt with enormous puffed sleeves. They had three children in all, an heir, a spare, and a princess.  The prince was an unwilling successor to the throne.  He had wanted his father to reign forever, and was heartbroken when the old king did not wake up.  For seven years after his death, the new king wore only black, and following custom, did not shave.  Then, at the seventh anniversary remembrance service, there he was, clean-shaven and in regal attire.  The crowd was full of joy.  ‘Three cheers for the king,’ called someone, ‘Hip-hip?’  ‘HURRAAAAH,’ they bellowed.  There was peace and prosperity in the kingdom.  Literacy rose, mortality fell.  There was even talk of universal health insurance.  The king searched near and far for a queen to accompany him on his throne.  He courted beautiful princesses,  yet none of them won his heart.  Until, one day, there she was, one of his own subjects.  He was heard to say, ‘What jewel is this?’  He would never leave the kingdom again. They were married with pomp and pageantry.  The new Queen wore a beautiful white gown, the king wore the national costume of white clogs, yellow socks, red knickers, and a black shirt with enormous puffed sleeves. They had three children in all, an heir, a spare, and a princess. 

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EDITORIAL NEEDLING & AUTHORIAL ANALYSIS

Eyeshot Editor wrote: I don't get it. What's the point? It's potentially interesting and fun, but I'm just sort of like "wha?" Let me know. 

Kevin O Cuinn wrote: So here's what happened: see, I study Comparative Religions and Mythologies and a while back was talking to my friend Antony about Joseph Campbell's book 'The Hero with a Thousand Faces,' about how societies have the same story, the Greek-Roman-Nordic-Celtic gods are the same gods, and their legends/stories are also, well, the same. Following from this, comes the theory that the Matrix-StarWars-Sinbad-Highlander-James Bond, Dirty Harry et al. are all the same story.  There can be only one.

(This, incidentally, is why I read Eyeshot, it challenges Campbell).

So my friend Antony says 'what would a different story look like, not following the schema?' so I tried (in the piece) to just write something where there were no monsters, no great separations&reconciliations, no complications (etc). See where I'm coming from? Add to this:

1. Prince Charles got married that weekend. 

2. There was a Bill Murray special on ZDF (German TV). 

3. Coincidentally, the piece stopped dead at 200 words, and I saw that you were running pieces of  exactly 1000 words. So it was kind of my eureka moment - I multiplied x 5, though I could as well have multiplied x 3, or 41, or 6 million, point being 'still the same old, it's always the same.'  

4. I really like the words 'sexy white frock,'  I find myself saying them again and again. 

5. I don’t have a fifth reason, but in the myths things work in threes, sometimes fives, but never fours.  Fours are square.  

So there you go, the story about the story. 

All the best,

Kevin 
 

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