Submit and we'll let you slip your mouse up the lady on the left's skirtsy
CONTEXT, PART TWO: MORE ON SUSANNA AND THE COLOR RED
BY CALVIN LIU

When last we left off (see "Context, This"), questions of uncertainty regarding Susanna's red sweater of two Novembers ago seemed to snowball in an exponential fashion, exhibiting what we might characterize as an unprecedented and alarming trend.

Trend, of course, is the question at hand, since, in passing a more recent November, we once again document Susanna (above at center) sporting a top of the "red sweat-" variety. This in mind, we beg the question: If, in Novembers past and present, the prevailing trend is for Susanna to wear red, what else is she wearing that might be red?

It is unfortunate, our inability to ascertain the truth from only photographic evidence. We might gather that she is wearing blue jeans, but again, the question is not, What is blue, but, What is red? Again, impossible to tell. Nonetheless, we are tempted, in our resourcefulness and resolve, to shout from the gallery; say, something in the spirit of this: Ah! Eureka! We can ask the gentleman on the right!

Right?

In a word, wrong.

Notice, for one, the tall and amply booze-filled cup at the edge of the counter behind him. Notice also the lazy bend in this gentleman's knees. For that matter, notice the slight imbalance in his equilibrium, the half-tilt, the shifting of weight to the balls of his feet, as if he's drunk. (Note: "as if" means "because.") Centers of gravity aside, notice, too, this gentleman's precarious positioning: pelvis against the countertop, almost humping the kitchen sink. Goes without saying that the sink remains his single point of focus; a target, if you will. As if he's aiming.

Stop. Now think about it. Like he's thinking about it.

Got it? Yes. You got it: This man is about to vomit.

So what, then, does this suggest? First, that the gentleman's preoccupation at the moment is not with anything that Susanna is or is not wearing. And second, should there ever have been a preoccupation with what is hidden beneath Susanna's clothing (and we should hope there might have been), vomiting in front of her would no doubt bring that endeavor to a swift, unfruitful, and crash-and-burn-type ending.

And that does not help us in the least. But, like the troopers we are, we say, Too bad, Go fish, and we move eagerly on.

So now, that concluded, we ask the next of important questions, which would be, Who is the mysterious woman at left who bares her lovely knees?

This, it so happens, we know without a doubt, and that, we simply answer: A babe. She is a babe.

[Calvin Liu does this.]

[Forever after at http://eyeshot.net/moreliu.html
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