Badger, badger, so full of action, your name is a verb, like hawk and rat, dog and weasel.

Action badger, no hero of mine, for all your action is your namesake.

You cannot write a play, for your scripts are hearsay. You cannot translate Japanese without destroying its subtlety. Nor are you a mystic, like the owl outside my window who makes all too human sounds. Nor are you angelic, like the ghostly toads in the hall with their suggestive whispers.

Action badger, the one thing you can do is bad. The one thing you do well is badger. You are a greedy conquistador, your quest for gold veiled as a holy inquisition. But we know your motives, action badger. Seen them a thousand times before. So crawl back into your badger hole, choke down the remains of your badger babies, and drown yourself in the murky blue hatred that is your badger soul.