HIGH-DIVE
BY STEVEN COY
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Can’t you at least just try? See—look, here, I can hold your back like this and we can very easily just roll over without it—oh—that hurts too? I didn’t even do anything . . . Are you okay? Does it still hurt? Even with me here just like this? Do you want to keep rolling over? We can just — okay, no — nevermind — no, we don’t have to, of course not, not if it hurts you so much. Yeah, I’m fine, don’t worry about it, please, please do not worry about me. This is not about me. Hey—listen to me! Don’t worry about it—it is completely fine, okay? I’m fine. Really. Please—no!—it’s nothing to cry about—come on—because nothing’s wrong! No—I promise that nothing is wrong with you! Maybe it’s me, maybe I’m too big? I don’t know why this happens! But I’m still here with you, aren’t I? And there’s no one else and I’m not going to leave. Nobody can see us and nobody has to know. No, no, no, I don’t know why you keep asking me that. That doesn’t matter. Stop asking because it doesn’t matter. Fine—you really want to know? Okay!—since you absolutely must know, it was not ever like this with other girls and I don’t know why it is with you but hey—will you just listen to me? Stop crying for a second and listen to me. Are you listening? I have something very important to tell you and I want to make sure you’re listening. Are you sure you’re listening? Okay—I love you. Did you hear what I just said? I just said that I love you! That’s why I married you! That means no one else matters more than you. I didn’t love them like I love you. Do you even understand what I’m telling you? I didn’t have this problem with any of them, but if I did I wouldn’t have put up with it because I didn’t love them like I love you. No, no, no, no, I’m not just putting up with you. I didn’t mean it like that. Why do you always do that? I’m trying to say pretty things to you and you turn them so evil. Why do you always do that? Please understand that you are number one! And I don’t care that we can’t—you know—because that doesn’t matter. Hey, what did I just say? Didn’t I just say it doesn’t matter? Why would it matter? No, even in ten years it won’t matter. I don’t need that and do you know why? Yes, good, you’re getting it, because I love you and all we need is love. Have you been doing what the doctor suggested? How often do you do them? Do you think that’s enough? Maybe you should be doing it more. No, not every day, but maybe a little more. Maybe if you did then we could easily just roll over without it—oh—I’m sorry, I didn’t think it would hurt that time since I’ve been like this for the last few minutes. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt you. I wouldn’t ever hurt you. Not on purpose. I’d rather die than hurt you on purpose. Say, do you remember the first time? You had such a bad fever but you wanted to do it anyway. I was so afraid it would hurt you even more. Yes, I know it did, but it was a good hurt, wasn’t it? Remember when I compared it to jumping off a high-dive? Stand there looking down and you’ll never do it. You’ve got to close your eyes and just not think about it and jump!—oh shit, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to, I just got a little excited there. But do you remember? Oh, it didn’t hurt the whole time, did it? Of course it didn’t. Only at first. And then it was good. Wasn’t it? Was it good? After it didn’t hurt anymore, you started to realize why it was a good thing, didn’t you? And then you wanted to do it again! But it hurt the second time, too, and the third, and then you began think it always would and stopped wanting to do it. Do you think that maybe your medication caused this? I have no idea, but I’ve heard that medication can do that. No, you definitely should not stop taking it. Don’t you remember how you were before? Don’t you think you’re better now? All I’m asking is if you think it might be a problem, not that I think you should stop taking it. Besides, you would need to consult your doctor before making a decision like that. That sort of thing could really mess you up. Yes, I realize it’s only supposed to hurt the first time, but maybe it’s not that way with everyone. Who says it’s supposed to be that way? Everyone? Oh, I sincerely doubt everyone. Of course not everyone because—well, look at us! We’re not like that, are we? And there have to be others like us. And I know for a fact that there’s no one out there who loves you as much as I do. I know this because the amount that I love you is impossible—that’s how much I love you. And I would do anything for you. I’d rather die than live without you, that’s how much. Despite our problem. No, you’re right, it’s not really a problem. Everything is fine. Let’s just be still like this for a while, okay? And enjoy the fact that we have each other and we are alive and not dead. Yeah. See how I gently kiss your neck? I know you like that a lot. I can tell it’s turning you on again. I love you so much. And if I hold your back like this, we can very easily just roll over— [Forever after at http://eyeshot.net/1000coy.html] |
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like Scott Bryan Wilson's
latest contribution, today's posting by Mr. Coy continues
our "photofiction" experiment, wherein a writer writes exactly 1000
words about
a picture provided by the eyeshot editor -- if you'd like to participate,
let us know, and we'll send you a picture, though we
can't guarantee we'll post what
you send --
sorry