Wonderchick woke feeling villainous, not like herself at all. In fact, it was time for a wardrobe change. Off with the red and blue spangles! Today she would be the Villainess: black lipstick, green nail polish, some throwing stars tucked into her back pocket.
At breakfast, her coffee was too fucking strong
and her cheerios tasted like shit. Then some dumb-ass who had apparently
never flown before went toodling through her air space RIGHT at the speed
limit and made her
Her voice mail told her that her office mate was out for the day, suffering from cramps. Thank heaven for small favors. For once she wouldn't have to share the time machine or listen to Rubbergirl whine about her sore ligaments.
Her hotline sat silent all morning. She suspected that Macroman was routing her jobs on to others to punish her for coming in late. She rummaged through Rubbergirl's desk to pass the time and raided her stores of bubblegum and taffy.
She stopped at the bathroom on the way out to lunch and farted like a volcano. Someone in the next stall moaned a little afterwards, and the Villainess washed her hands slowly, waiting for the other woman to come out and show her face, planning to kill the witness. Eventually it dawned on her that the moan had been one of envy, that the other woman might be in there for hours or even weeks. She slammed the bathroom door into splinters, off to vent her frustration elsewhere.
A little old lady with a cane blocked her way down the stairs. She felt her face curl into a snarl as she thought that people who could not get down stairs shouldn't be so stupid as to go up them. What was an ordinary human doing in here, anyway?
Then the old woman's cane slipped and her purse fell out of her hands as she grabbed for the railing. The woman clung there and looked up with timid eyes, waiting to let the Villainess pass.
She found herself picking up the purse and taking the old woman by the arm. Suddenly she felt strong, young, lucky, and incredibly sad and un-villainous.
Wonderchick sighed and went home to change her clothes.
Grannywoman waited until Wonderchick had moved out of sight. Then she folded up the cane and tucked it into her purse, sucking her teeth with satisfaction.
All in a day's work.
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