monroe's doctrine #2
i think i'm too mad to be effective
BY JACK MONROE
i hate people with causes. the Spanish Inquisition had a cause. hitler had a cause. eugene McCarthy had a cause. their fervid devotion did more damage to their principles than simple non-action. and there-in lies my point...that often people with causes cannot see the proverbial forest through the trees. strict adherence to the letter of one's principles prevents one from fulfilling the spirit of the cause's goal.
yesterday morning i almost died because some dumb-ass 50ish granola-grubbing, folksy arts-and- craps earrings wearing (most likely made from the remnants of some 19thc barn where abused chickens were nursed back to health by some foul old maid), earth momma with PETAstickers plastered all over the back of her honda decided to jam on her brakes on busy rush-hour traffic highway to save a squirrel. i watched Mack dump-truck closing in on me in rear-view mirror, breathing only as truck managed to avoid me by pulling onto the shoulder and off road way; truck driver really had no choice has the school bus full of children occupied the on-coming lane.
the squirrel ran to safety as miss do-good resumed driving sipping her rainforest nut crunch decaf with the soy milk oblivious to the personal and financial tragedy she almost caused. you see i know all this about her from the coffee shop earlier that morning where she jumped the line while effusively spraying mock sympathy for one of the coffee gals who has been hospitalized.
while she is none of the evil monsters mentioned above, her desire to save the squirrel almost killed a bus full of children, some poor innocent truck driver, and myself. great...save all the animals you want...but what about the ethical treatment of human beings you evil bitch? next time squish the fucking squirrel. god'll make more.
other works by jack monroe