For your request for personal vices, I have decided to submit this, which, actually, is my vice of sorts. I'm not sure how this sending of humorous, albeit fake, e-mails to major corporations like yours began, but it's become a habitual thing, the need to send them constantly lingering in the back of my head. "You shouldn't send them," I say to myself. "You're harassing people and eventually someone is going to put a restraining order on you, or send a representative over to pummel you in your sleep [note: this relates mostly to the letters I've been sending to the mafia -- I know your reputable organization very, very rarely sends toughs or thugs to people's residences]."

I know it's wrong what I'm doing, yet here I am, sending out another, making myself giggle as I type these silly, little words. From a psychosocial perspective, maybe I'm being driven by a need for recognition from my pals who I later forward these things on to, or maybe it's because I spent too much time in Sociology classes in college learning about ethnomethodology and those at the forefront of the study. But maybe, and I think this seems the most feasible, we need to look at it here from a self-culturalization standpoint, that this whole endeavor is just a natural learning process by the individual, myself, in an attempt to emulate what the person has witnessed time and time again. This, of course, harkens thoughts of the past, from Poe's and Twain's famous newspaper hoaxes, to the television programs first aired in the 1960's, "Candid Camera" most notable amongst them, to even your own broadcasted shows, "The Tom Green Show" and select portions of "Jackass." In understanding that I am, in my personal makeup, am no more than a receiver of the world around me, than it is safe to assume that the progression that led to this very e-mail is a natural one, nearly predetermined through years upon years of such lauded pranksterism in American society.

So, in short, I am simply performing in a circular fashion, returning to the hoaxes that you, as an entertainment medium, have so aptly made a part of the common cultural vernacular. I am, in a matter of  speaking, returning the favor.

Yours,

Steve Delahoyde