Stanford Corporation:

After much soul searching I have decided to write this letter to you concerning your product Mr. Sketch Scented Watercolor Markers (Item# 20072). The pens, which I've used for years for my many marker-related projects, are simply fantastic and therefore, are not the focus of my complaint.

The issue I wish to address with you is in regards to the packaging of said markers. On both the front and the back of the inking device's cardboard holder, we see the colors of these markers represented in colorful cartoon characters which not only inform the product's owner of the colors contained within the box, but also, because the cartoons are of fruits, of their respective odors. I assure you, this worked quite well for me for a long awhile. That is until I took a closer look!

I discovered the character for the brown marker is a bear! An Ursus Arctos (a northern brown bear) to be specific. As a consumer, father, and the leading bear expert in the entire state of Arizona, I was shocked. Exposing children to this colorful, upright-standing, cheerful bear is bad enough! To make children infer that this species (or any for that matter) smells of wonderful cinnamon is simply dangerous!

We here at The National Bear Institute (Arizona Chapter) are constantly barraged with stories of small children who are maimed by these large beasts. Their explanation: they thought the bears were made of gummi, or worse, would dance for nickels (as is seen in so many cartoons out of Russia). Perhaps, for the sake of the children, it is time to reconsider your choice of cartoon. 

If an animal is needed, might I suggest the loveable salmon? In my previous job at The National Salmon Institute, we saw how well salmon played with children and how delightful they are to watch. If interested, I also do quite a bit of freelance cartooning and would be willing (at a fantastic price) to draw you a simply adorable caricature of a happy salmon. It is really up to you. 

Thank You For Your Time,

Steve Delahoyde