BEWARE THE IDES OF MARCH
BY EMERSON DAMERON
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| Many a moon I’ve had to wait for this date. To
give you a cross-country ass-whuppin’ and splatter blood state to state.
To put toothpicks through your eyeballs and serve ‘em in a well drink.
To hear wolverines crying ‘bout how bad your entrails stink. To pound in
your skull ‘til it’s fucked up as sin. Then pull back the minute hand and
do it again. So beware the Ides Of March, you know-nothing fuck. Watch
your ass. Watch your head. Far better than you’ve fucked around and ended
dead.
And to the man in the balcony: You might know who I am. I beat the shit out of Zeus and didn’t give a goddamn. I pissed out the ocean, I watered the trees. Got my dick sucked by Aphrodite with her down on the knees. I thrashed scars on the sun all day and all night. Beat the shit out the rain for pissin’ on the fight. I need your help like I need a heart attack. And if you got something to say to me, PLEASE, step the FUCK back. I’m a bad motherfucker. My umbrella’s upsidedown
to collect the rain. Laid a monsoon on you motherfuckers, left you drowning
in pain. Lightning struck my palace and I harnessed the power. Souped up
a minute ‘til it looked like an hour. Stuck a fork in a socket, had ‘lectricity
for dinner. Turned my cub scout den mother into a spread-eagled sinner.
Laced up my Caterpillars to kick some shit ‘cross the block. Showed up
at my job, the bossman damn near croaked from the shock. Turned 10 to 11
and 100 back to 10. Started this shit right over again. Motherfuckers.
Mr. Dameron is a member of the Underground Literary Alliance |
B R A V E S O U L S R E C E I V E
|
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LET IT BE WIDELY KNOWN THAT
You can now have a look at
Steve Delahoyde & Waki Gamez'
Irritable Colon