ANOTHER RECONSTITUTED IM TRANSCRIPT
BY CHRISTINE HAMM
| *
Rudolph Guiliani: good evening Rosie O'Donnell: you sound like a vampire Rosie O'Donnell: how are you Rudolph Guiliani: I want to suck your blood Rudolph Guiliani: tired Rudolph Guiliani: just got in from work Rosie O'Donnell: don't you mean, vant? Rudolph Guiliani: why aren’t you out? Rosie O'Donnell: hey, you're the party animal Rudolph Guiliani: look, I tell you, you don’t tell me, tough guy Rosie O'Donnell: hee hee Rudolph Guiliani: I am a party animal, dude Rudolph Guiliani: where's the kegger? Rosie O'Donnell: yeah, I was supposed to see a patient tonight, but she cancelled. I've been napping most of the eveinging Rosie O'Donnell: inining Rudolph Guiliani: very good Rosie O'Donnell: cause I wasn't feeling so well Rudolph Guiliani: i will be napping for the evening in a few Rosie O'Donnell: but now I feel better. Rudolph Guiliani: great Rudolph Guiliani: time to go out then Rosie O'Donnell: so what were you working on Rudolph Guiliani: a commercial for the knicks Rosie O'Donnell: and would you like to go to poetry reading on Sunday Rosie O'Donnell: Knickers? Rudolph Guiliani: I can’t make it on Sunday Rosie O'Donnell: ladies' or men's? Rudolph Guiliani: I am working Rudolph Guiliani: knicks, the basketball team Rosie O'Donnell: fine, I didn't want you to come anyway Rosie O'Donnell: I've got taller people to invite Rudolph Guiliani: then why did you ask, smarty pants? Rosie O'Donnell: do they wear knickers? Rudolph Guiliani: they were bottom nude
Rudolph Guiliani: mile wide penises everywhere Rosie O'Donnell: I'm working on that poem I promised you Rudolph Guiliani: how does it go? Rosie O'Donnell: uh, I have a draft, it's very rough, but it goes something like: "the man with the mile wide penis" He puts his pants on, one leg at a time
Rosie O'Donnell: That's it sort of . More about being attacked by women Rudolph Guiliani: I wish it were true Rosie O'Donnell: and being a saint Rudolph Guiliani: i lost my virginity at age 17 Rosie O'Donnell: no you don't it's a sad poem Rosie O'Donnell: what's wrong with losing your virginity at 17 Rudolph Guiliani: nothing, just took way too long to get rid of it Rosie O'Donnell: that's not that old at all. A lot of guys I know lost it when they were 20 or so Rudolph Guiliani: I hear ya, to me it took a long time Rosie O'Donnell: I was 16 and a half. It was really miserable. I didn't like sex for a few years after that Rudolph Guiliani: I guess your father was too rough with you that time Rosie O'Donnell: loser Rudolph Guiliani: thanks Rosie O'Donnell: do you say thanks for everything? Rudolph Guiliani: yes i do. i am polite Rosie O'Donnell: so when people insult you you say thanks? Rudolph Guiliani: always Rudolph Guiliani: they've shown me a new side to myself Rosie O'Donnell: hmmm. Interesting strategy Rosie O'Donnell: so you busy all weekend? Rosie O'Donnell: not that I care Rudolph Guiliani: yeah, and all next week Rudolph Guiliani: work's picked up Rosie O'Donnell: I saw a roach the size of a small kitten today Rudolph Guiliani: where? Rosie O'Donnell: you're a male escort, aren't you Rudolph Guiliani: No Rudolph Guiliani: i'm a stud Rosie O'Donnell: crawling into my dresser Rosie O'Donnell: at first I thought it was a mouse Rosie O'Donnell: but my cats were scared of it Rudolph Guiliani: did it get into your panty drawer? Rosie O'Donnell: I don't think so, why Rudolph Guiliani: just curious Rosie O'Donnell: what? Rosie O'Donnell: would you be jealous? Rudolph Guiliani: yes Rudolph Guiliani: that's the ticket Rosie O'Donnell: jealous of a roach Rudolph Guiliani: never! Rosie O'Donnell: see you do have self-esteem issues Rudolph Guiliani: who doesn’t? Rosie O'Donnell: sometimes I see the roaches wearing my panties, but I never see them actually going into the drawer Rosie O'Donnell: you're right everybody does Rudolph Guiliani: great image in my head now Rosie O'Donnell: they also wear my lipstick and eyeshadow Rosie O'Donnell: occasionally dye their antennae purple Rudolph Guiliani: mmmmmmmm Rosie O'Donnell: play Eminem too loud so the neighbors stomp on the ceiling Rosie O'Donnell: write bad roach poetry Rosie O'Donnell: live in the seedy Roach motel on a tiny little 2nd Ave in my bathroom Rudolph Guiliani: sounds fun Rudolph Guiliani: lets do it Rosie O'Donnell: huh Rosie O'Donnell: do what Rudolph Guiliani: all the things your roaches do Rosie O'Donnell: I don't know, those roaches live fast and die young Rosie O'Donnell: if I get my way (** UNRELATED SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT Those who have Quicktime (and quick connections) may be interested in seeing a short video by Brian Doyle, who long ago put this photo project about Celebration, Florida on Eyeshot, and who has this short video called Current of ticker tape (from the Yankees' Fall 2000 victory parade) on fire (!), swirling around the WTC and other buildings downtown -- all of which, of course, eeriely presages events in the same area a year later. |
B R A V E S O U L S R E C E I V E
|