KEITH OBADIKE'S BLACKNESS IS FOR SALE
YOU CAN BID FOR IT ON E-BAY UNTIL AUGUST 15, 2001
BY KEITH OBADIKE

[What follows is the description of an item
which was actually for sale on eBay.]


This heirloom has been in the possession of the seller for twenty-eight years. Mr. Obadike's Blackness has been used primarily in the United States and its functionality outside of the U.S. cannot be guaranteed. Buyer will receive a certificate of authenticity.

Benefits and Warnings 

Benefits

1. This Blackness may be used for creating black art. 

2. This Blackness may be used for writing critical essays or scholarship about other blacks. 

3. This Blackness may be used for making jokes about black people and/or laughing at black humor comfortably. (Option #3 may overlap with option #2) 

4. This Blackness may be used for accessing some
affirmative action benefits. (Limited time offer. May already be prohibited in some areas.) 

5. This Blackness may be used for dating a black person without fear of public scrutiny. 

6. This Blackness may be used for gaining access to exclusive, "high risk" neighborhoods. 

7. This Blackness may be used for securing the right to use the terms 'sista', 'brotha', or 'nigga' in reference to
black people. (Be sure to have certificate of authenticity on hand when using option #7).

8. This Blackness may be used for instilling fear. 

9. This Blackness may be used to augment the blackness of those already black, especially for purposes of playing 'blacker-than-thou'. 

10. This Blackness may be used by blacks as a spare (in case your original Blackness is whupped off you.)

Warnings

1. The Seller does not recommend that this Blackness be used during legal proceedings of any sort. 

2. The Seller does not recommend that this Blackness be used while seeking employment. 

3. The Seller does not recommend that this Blackness be used in the process of making or selling 'serious' art. 

4. The Seller does not recommend that this Blackness be used while shopping or writing a personal check. 

5. The Seller does not recommend that this Blackness be used while making intellectual claims. 

6. The Seller does not recommend that this Blackness be used while voting in the United States or Florida. 

7. The Seller does not recommend that this Blackness be used while demanding fairness. 

8. The Seller does not recommend that this Blackness
be used while demanding. 

9. The Seller does not recommend that this Blackness be used in Hollywood. 

10. The Seller does not recommend that this Blackness be used by whites looking for a wild weekend. 

Click here to bid on Mr. Obadike's Blackness: 
Auction ends August 18, 2001.

[An interview with Mr. Obadike may or may not happen.]
 
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