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LETTER TO EYESHOT IN RESPONSE TO A SEMI-HIDDEN WORLDWIDE QUERY SEMI-HIDDEN IN A PREVOUS POSTING AND CLIPPED AND CROPPED SO IT NOW APPEARS QUITE OBVIOUSLY DIRECTLY ABOVE THESE WORDS BUT DON'T BOTHER LOOKING FAR BELOW FOR ANOTHER SEMI-HIDDEN QUERY BECAUSE PUTTING ONE THERE WOULD BE A SEMI-OBVIOUS HIDDEN QUERY AND SUCH TACTICS ARE ANTITHETICAL TO THE EYESHOT WAY, WHICH IS NOT ABOUT YANKING READERS AROUND LIKE THAT, ESPECIALLY CONSIDERING THE EARTHQUAKE, TSUNAMI, RADIATION, LIBYA, NYT.COM FREAKING CHARGING AT THE END OF THE MONTH, CHASE UTLEY'S KNEE, THE LIST GOES ON AND ON OF THINGS YANKING EVERYONE AROUND THESE DAYS AND WE'RE GONNA TRY OUR BEST NOT TO YANK YA ANYMORE 

 
Dear Eyeshot,

A few words regarding the major motion pictures "Somewhere" and "Clash of the Titans" (neither of which I have ever seen and neither of which are mentioned at any length below): 

The first thing I think of when I think of Sophia Coppola is "The Godfather Part III." This is not a pleasant association. Makes me cringe a little. Sort of like her performance in the movie. This may not be true, but my memories of my experience watching the movie are of feeling oddly uncomfortable every time Ms. Coppola was on the screen. I have since read a number of mean-spirited reviews regarding her performance in this movie. This may have colored the memories of the original experience. What’s bad acting anyway? Who am I to say an actor was ‘bad’ in a movie? Sometimes actors are brilliant in movies and make me feel way more uncomfortable. My discomfort is no reason to jump to ‘bad’. It would be unprincipled.

A word on principles:

Without principles, we are wild animals run amuck in a wild and dangerous landscape of bloody mayhem and violent destruction, raping and killing to get our uncontrolled and perverted kicks. Who wants to live like that? I ask that anyone reviewing a movie consider this before conflating discomfort with ‘bad’. Perhaps I am asking for more qualification within the review. Perhaps I am just asking for a greater exercise of professional responsibility.

And then there’s "Lost in Translation," which I remember being pretty enjoyable. It also made me slightly uncomfortable, but in a more pleasant way. Or at least this is how I remember it after reading a lot of positive views. Perhaps critics are the problem. Maybe it’s my over-malleable mind. Maybe there is a bright line somewhere within the spectrum of discomfort where a sensation causing experience goes from being enhanced somewhat by the discomfort to being harmed by it. Perhaps I am a masochist, but, like, kind of a pussy masochist, who thinks he likes it rough and then chickens out when the shit gets real.

I will watch "Somewhere" in search of answers. I will likely feel at least a little uncomfortable. I think I’m okay with that. 

I’m pretty sure "Clash of the Titans" has a Pegasus. How could anything with a Pegasus be less than mildly pleasant? 

With great sincerity, 

Chris Michael

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TO WHICH EYESHOT RESPONDS!

Hi Chris! Maybe it's all about discomfort. The necessity of not feeling all so comfortably settled in? Last night I saw a long movie with Javier Bardem and really needed to pee midway and when returning I tripped over the feet of some guys in my row and needed to brace myself by grabbing the back of a woman's chair. After peeing I was really much more comfortable and enjoyed the movie more, although it turns out I missed the climax of the movie, when all the Chinese people (SPOILER REDACTED), and so while discussing the movie after the credits rolled and the lights came up someone came from behind us and grabbed our seats and SHOOK them and said something like isn't that distracting? Bet you're startled. We both thought it was a friend who saw us at the theater and came over and tried to scare us but it was a middle-aged dreadlocked lady extracting revenge on me for losing my balance and almost falling while returning to my seat during the movie's climax. Not being totally insane, I apologized for any perceived inconsideration etc, almost to the point where this woman must have felt like the total freakin' lunatic she was. With that said, I think the assocation between "Somewhere" and "The Clash of the Titans" might have something to do with living an apparently unflawed life -- that is, if Achilles were the hero instead of Perseus. The little question was totally idiotic, since I momentarily mistook Perseus for Achilles. Similarly, Harry Hamlin, the star of "Clash of the Titans," was originally cast to play Jim Morrison in "The Doors" before Val Kilmer stepped in. I saw Hamlin play Hamlet at McCarter Theater in Princeton, NJ, in the early '80s. Imagine Mr Mojo Risen stoned on something way worse for the respiratory system than a glance at Medusa's asps, far from his winged steed, wondering what a piece of work a man might be?! Is Pegasus the name of the type of horse, the breed, or is Pegasus the name of the horse itself, like woah check out Perseus's pet flying horse, Pegasus? Come to think of it, Pegasus is basically a unicorn without a horn, right? Kind of makes Pegasus seem not all that hot after all. Anyway, thanks for writing and good luck eating your guitar. You play it really very well.
 
 

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