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Rapunzel, upon having the fair maiden for forty days and forty nights, decides a change is about him, and whilst recovering in the royal infirmary with the "bedpans which were made warmer directly by the countenance of Gd," composed thru his scribe these revisions to the King James:

"Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend in a bed with unwashed sheets from the days of Saul of Tarsus and the camels which cried petrol."
~Proverbs 27:17 (King Rapunzel edit.)~

"Faithful are the wounds of a friend; but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful not to mention garlicky, you Greek bastard with your philosophy and open-flappy toga. Crazy bastard."
~Proverbs 27:6 (King Rapunzel edit.)~

"Ointment and perfume rejoice the heart: so doth the sweetness of a man's friend by hearty counsel. (This is compleatly gay enough; I have nothing more to add. Your witness." 
~Proverbs 27:9 (King Rapunzel edit.)~

"A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”

“Now come, come, man -- 'tis hot on the bus to Jerusalem and no telling who might shoot arrow or stone through thine heart dur'n the journey simply to proclaim o'er the stiff and undenying that, 'Yea, I hath taken and therefore am I God in living act!'"
~Proverbs 18:24 (King Rapunzel edit.)~

"And the LORD spake unto Moses face to face, as a man speaketh unto his friend while under the sheets playing 'Tent Sale 2001'."
~Exodus 33:11 (King Rapunzel edit.)~

Bubbles Ganesh and Rapunzel Sutton-Holsteen endorse Catapiller surgical gloves exclusively.

Major funding for this project provided in parts 
by a grant from the webpage at
as well as Don's In-and-Out in a Flash Laser Plastic Surgery Institute of Oak Harbor, New Mexico -- hello, friends and fucktoys!


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